Satirically Seuss


Caroline Sitter, News Editor

In the land of Tusa, I’ll have you know

Each citizen is very unique,

As we search for a leader to help us grow,

Let’s evaluate each candidacy.

Maybe it’s you,

maybe it’s me,

but is Donald Trump’s hair

a Truffula Tree?

Can’t delete files?

Hillary can,

but those emails won’t go down

like Green Eggs and Ham.

One fish,

two fish,

red fish,


We are creators,

unified are us all,

to block out invaders,

“let’s build a wall”

Relief money abused

on the New Jersey beach,

a scandal reviewed

no, you can’t teach a sneetch

Out of all the candidates,

a few are new,

with no political experience,

Horton hears a…who?

On the far-away Island of Cuba,

Fidel Castro was master of the Tuba.

A nice little country with famous cigars.

The water was warm and rum was consumed in bars.

Back in the States, Rubio warned

“Castro will corrupt all,”

the weak and forlorned.

While sleep speaks its simplistic song,

Each eyelid lays soft like a sheet,

a neurosurgeon for far too long,

“Did Ben Carson just fall asleep?”

As HP computers

go down the socket,

Who is hiding

A wocket in their pocket?

All candidates see,

far and beyond

like Yurtle the turtle,

king of the pond.

Greater and greater

they desire to be

a need to be ruler

of all they can see.

But in the land of Tusa,

there’s something we desperately need,

more than hair like a truffula tree,

files to delete,

falling asleep,

the brand HP,

a wall that’s concrete,

rum on the beach,

a New Jersey sneech,

or socialist beliefs.

The people of Tusa need to grow,

We each need to learn and teach,

And in the next year we will know,

Who will lead in 2016.