College Applications Cause Tears

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Sydney Mattox, Web Editor

With the new school year in full swing, the freshman are getting comfortable in the trash cans (not literally), teachers have started to rip their hair out once again, and seniors have become progressively more stressed.

I do not use this word ‘stressed’ lightly. I don’t mean stressed as in ‘what will I wear on picture day’ or ‘this paper I haven’t even started is due tomorrow’ type of stress. Oh no. I am talking about the ‘what the $%*# am I going to do for the rest of my life?!’ type of stress. That’s right people, I am talking about the dreaded college application process.

I have heard the term ‘college apps’ used in a dismal dreading tone all of my four years here, mostly from the lazy never-here zombies we call seniors. But as I dive into the role of the senior myself, I realize how understated the stress of applying to college actually is.

Why am I so completely over my head in this emotional torturous strain you ask? Well first off, I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with the rest of my hopefully 80 years on this planet. That question of “what do you wanna do when you get out of high school?” makes me really want to curl up in a hole and eat pizza until I pass out. But instead I reply in a fake cheery tone ‘I really don’t know yet’, where in all honesty I want to say a fairy princess dinosaur slayer, but in society I guess that’s not an acceptable answer for an almost adult.

Secondly the actual physical college application stresses me out to no end. It’s actually not incredibly difficult, it’s just time consuming. The questions that an average application asks starts off at ‘Who are your parents and what do they do’ and then somehow those questions turn into another long list of questions that then turn into another long list of questions, which somehow gets me to the question of ‘what did you have for breakfast and why?’ type of deal.

Those random questions that seem to take a lifetime to answer aren’t the only thing that you need to submit in order to get considered to be accepted. You need your transcript, letters of recommendation, essays, short answers, scholarship possibilities and the ring from Mordor. To state it simply, it’s an incredibly time consuming process of gathering information about yourself that you didn’t even know existed.

All of this pressure placed on seniors then leads to college application stress breakdowns or CASB for short. These are little breakdowns are where the senior starts to either nervously laugh, cry or sweat, which might lead to passing out, blank stares or a Netflix binge taking place in their room with the curtains drawn. I myself will admit I have had two CASB’s and they are not pleasant. If you ever witness one of these breakdowns, let the senior do their thing then give us encouragement in the form of kind words or candy.

To conclude, and apologies that this is starting to read like an application essay, seniors if you aren’t wearing a wig from ripping your hair out, drowned in the sea of college based mail you have received or haven’t had a breakdown yet out of concern for your future, then I hate to inform you my friend, you are doing the college application process wrong.